10. The camera adds ten pounds to your mohawk.
9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.
8. It’s very important to “Keep it real, dawg.”
7. I should have gone for the immunity idol – oh wait, that’s “Survivor.”
6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he’s a total jerk.
5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.
4. When you forget the words, just do this.
(Sanjaya belts out a riff like“Ohhhhhhhh”)
3. Honestly, I thought I was auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
2. Nothing.
1. America loves performers with bad hair – right, Dave?
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